If you would have asked me what my life would be like at age 36 I would have a fairy tale story that always has a happy ending. I know better though that in life many trials and tribulations come our way and although it still manifests as a happy ending, it doesn't feel that way in the process. All things will work out for your good but it depends on the perspective that you take with the outcome. Its a struggle to see the good in a hurtful situation but one must make a conscience effort in order to grow. Bitterness can be a distant cousin or a close relative. It all goes back to choice. I have chosen both sides of the fence and I must say that sometimes it appeared that I was closer and more comfortable with embracing the negative feelings in a sticky situation. Comfortable with grief and friends with pain was my story. Sometimes you just get tired... Tired of feeling those blues when blue skies emerge every time as a reminder that God is still in control of everything. Even the blues have no choice but to surrender to the power of God and therefore grace abounds. It soars into places that mercy depends on because of the foolish mistakes that I often make. So I have come to the place in my life where no matter what it feels like I am going to trust what I know and not what I feel. I know that I WILL NOT BREAK! I will not falter and I will not fail. I am a child of the most high God and no weapon formed against me shall prosper!!! That is my message and that is my story. It may seem cliche' however I have experience to back it up. Being a child of both drug and alcohol addicted parents at a young age could have had devastating consequences for my life. Being a victim of limited supervision and curious minds was and still at times creeps into a battle zone of painful and shaming memories. Thank God for putting our sins as far as the East is from the West and still Christ died so that we will have life more abundantly. In order to have an abundant life we have to choose to look to the hills from which cometh our help knowing and affirming that our help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth. I had a baby out of wed lock at not a young age. I was 34 and old enough to know, want, and demand better for my life. I feel the shame as I learn to pick up the pieces of an interrupted life. It wasn't in the plans that I had for myself. I am a living example of mercy and as I stated before, I WILL NOT BREAK and because I will not break neither will you! His grace is for us all. He is married to the backslider so I know I'm covered by his blood and I thank Him for saving a wretch like me. So move over troubles and good bye misery. I am counting it all joy!!
Peace